Game over…

Scris de Anca

This time,there was no turning back.She couldn’t take it anymore.Everything was just a reminder of what could have been her life.She was the black,ugly duck of the family.She’s not perfect.She never was…she never will.But now,she doesn’t have a reason to keep going.She was finally gonna let go of her pityfull life.

She always wanted to make them proud.But she never managed to do that…there was always something she didn’t do,something she didn’t said…or at least something they wanted her to do or say.

She saw in their eyes pity and regret every single time they looked at her.She loved them to death-hmpf…ironic,huh?-,but they never saw the real her.They never saw her as the daughter she was,as the sister she was,as the niece and the cousin she was.

Nobody cared about her;she was invisible;she was a drunken mistake as her father told her once.

She walked in the hallways of her highschool like she was a stain on them.She was a senior,but even her brother ,who was a freshman,was more popular and respected than she was.

But today,all of this was going to stop.

She went to the kitchen,took the biggest knife with her and returned to her room.When she got there,she got a piece of paper,a pen and a book and climbed on her bed.

She put the paper,pen and book next to her,took the knife in her hand and inhaled deeply.She closed her eyes and slit her femoral artery.The blood started flowing freely from her wound,but before she started writing,she made a vertical,15 inches cut on her left forearm…she needed her right hand to write.

She embraced the pain,put the piece of paper on the book and started writing…

“…Mom and dad…,

By the time you’ll read this,I’ll be long gone.I’m finally gonna set you free of my annoying presence.All my life I was ignored and treated as a useless thing,but I think that this is the only thing that I did in my that will make you proud.My life could be easily described in two words:cruel pain.You took pleasure in torturing me…but for the first time in my life,I feel good…And it’s ironic,I feel good when I’m on the verge of dying…,but maybe that’s the thing…the imminence of death makes me feel better…I’m sure it won’t be more than 2 minutes and I’ll be done.With each and every drop of blood that flows,I feel my life leaving me.With each and every drop that flows,I feel even better.I’m finally free of this family made in “Heaven”.It hurts,but for the first time in my life,I feel another pain,bigger than the one in my heart,but it feels good,I finally feel alive…In this moment,half of my body alreagy feels numb,it’s sucked dry of blood,but I welcome another numbness…The one in my heart.In this moment,I don’t feel a single thing anymore…everything is blank and I’m sure of only one thing:this is my end,but I’ll welcome it…I’ll finally get to be alive…I’ll be…dead,but alive…I’ll be alive,but dead…

I hope you have a good life,’cuz after how much I suffered,I’m sure as hell that my existence will be a happy one…

…I’ll see you in hell…”

Writing that only made her blood flow faster…She felt how her breaths were slowing down,how the beatings of her heart were also slowing down…how the blood was flowing slower…There was no more blood left to flow…It was finally over,but as she wrote in that letter,she was finally gonna live…

She took her last breath and the light in her eyes disappeared.She was dead…she was never going to breath again,to smile again,to cry again…but she wore on her face the shadow of her last smile…

The first real smile she  ever had…and that smile was the one which she faced her death…


2 comentarii la “Game over…

  1. wow deci is uimita:o
    deci ai descris asa de intens totul.
    Este minunat:X
    stiam ca scrii frumos,dar nici chiar asa de intens
    abia aspt urmatorul tau one shott
    felicitari sis ca obligat-o sa te lase:-*
    is mandra de tine:*

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